The Fight Begins

Well, I'm finally doing it.
I'm finally reaching for my dream-- the thing I've wanted since I was a little girl. Close family members might recall that little girl with waist-long braids stapling sheets of printer paper together and drawing a story with crayons. They remember me thrusting my 'books' into their faces with the demand to 'read it'. They remember enduring my poor spelling and shapeless words. All my friends wanted to be princesses or artists or movie stars when they grew up. I wanted to write books, simple as that.

I can recall walking into a Barnes And Nobles, holding my dad's hand and wondering if one day any of the books would have my name on the front cover. How I used to daydream that some day girls would imitate my characters. You might think it an odd fantasy for a seven-year-old, but I honest-to-goodness wanted that above all else. I still have those daydreams, albeit with a little more grown-up detail now. I picture book signings and Newbury awards... but until this last Friday I had never really taken a direct step towards my dream.

I was just growing more and more frustrated for the past few weeks. I'm being pushed towards my 15th birthday and I still haven't left my mark on the world yet. So I did a quick but desperate google search; "How do I publish a book?!"

Well, fortunately for me google has never let me down. Up popped a list of links that led to different 'how to' sites. I got busy reading articles, poring through web pages like some word-hungry freak. And, I must admit, I knew a lot less about the publishing process than I had thought. But I wasn't disheartened. Instead, I got to work looking up agent lists. After I had compiled a list of names, I wrote my query letter. And then- viola! All I had to do was click 'send'.

I think after that moment, after that final click of the mouse that signified my first real attempt to follow my dream, I just kind of sat back in my chair and let out a sigh of relief. I thought 'I did it. I finally started my dream.' And thats when the crazy smile spread over my face.

I know book publishing isn't exactly a cake-walk. I know I will get rejection emails- lots and lots of them. But you know what? I don't care. Because I know that even if I have to try my hardest and keep sending and searching for the rest of my life-- I'll be happy. I'll feel accomplished. And I also know that someday (hopefully someday soon), an agent will click on my email and say 'this is it, this is exaclty the kind of project I'm looking for'.

And when that day comes; trust me. I'll be ready for it.